approaching from their

I want a new a voice. I want a new writing style. I want to craft my words with another's eloquence. I want to structure my sentences upside down. Ultimately, it's perspective I seek. I want to speak from different angles. I want to see from the other side of the room; down the street; across the globe; under the table. I want new revelations to infiltrate my soul. I want to be someone else, if only for a moment, as well as throughout all time.

If I used different adjectives, would I have an alternate attitude? If I had an entirely new vocabulary, would I be a new person? Would I have more ambition? Would I have better focus? Would I be wholly confused? Would I struggle to express myself?

I wonder what it would be like to have an entire life that is built on different circumstances, viewpoints, teachings, lies, heartbreak, dreams, physical build, health, time period, everything. Where would I be? Who would I be? How does that person think? What is the same? What is there that has never crossed my mind?

Someone else wouldn't be dealing with the same issues. They wouldn't be obsessed with the same thoughts. Theirs would be an entirely new set of issues and obsessions. How refreshing. So quickly I could dismiss their ridiculous thoughts, as they could dismiss mine. But more importantly, I'd gain from their insights. I'd solve problems with foreign tools; straight forward, applicable tools. There would be a new simplicity discovered from this new arsenal.

What if this new person I was spoke with authority? Would I be firm? Would I stand strong? If I wrote with authority and conviction, would I ask fewer questions? Or would they all be rhetorical questions? Would I provide answers? Or, more subtly, would I point out directions? Would wisdom alter my approach on a case by case basis? Would I be more efficient? Would I be more unique? Could I be both efficient and unique?

That is a dichotomy in motivation. I cannot be efficiently unique. Or I am always most efficient when I am unique? For to be unique is to be incomparable. Then it is both the pinnacle of efficiency, and devoid of it altogether. Is the quest to be unique also a quest to kill the desire for efficiency? A hidden hatred of the pressure to maximize all opportunity fuels the obsession with the exceptional or distinct.

Such an obsession it is, to be me is no longer unique enough. Ah, to be truly unique is to be unable to qualify unique with a value. There exists no such thing as unique enough. Therefore, to be me is simply no longer to be unique. For I have always been me, and how does the me of today separate itself from the me of the past? Only in not being myself am I unique throughout all time and space. However, as soon as I am something new, it is me, and is no longer unique from the me I was. The only solution is to be constantly changing. So is that my desire? Or is that how it's inevitably going anyway?

A new perspective is only good if it combines with the one I've already established. But even then, it's never enough knowledge. It'll never satiate the yearning for more. The number of perspectives are almost limitless. Adding all of the flaws that accompany them could be maddening. Could be, but perchance it'd be predominantly humbling, and precisely what someone like me needs. At that end, I'd then be equipped to articulate an alternate voice, or stand resolute in the one I already own.